


Nobody Knows

by singmetothesun



Series: all of the steps that led me to you [3]
Category: Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Angst and Feels, Depression, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Compliant, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Spoilers, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Scorpius Malfoy & Albus Severus Potter Friendship, Scorpius cannot cope, Scorpius is heartbroken, pre-scorbus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-10-01 16:41:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20339092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/singmetothesun/pseuds/singmetothesun
Summary: Harry Potter split apart two best friends and Scorpius is struggling to cope. TW for self-harm and depression.





	Nobody Knows

**Author's Note:**

> This little piece was written last night and sparked by a friend's headcanon on twitter. Depression sucks and Scorpius is a good outlet, please don't hate me. TRIGGER WARNING for self-harm and depression.

_ “And I was running far away_  
_Would I run off the wall someday?_  
_ Nobody knows, nobody knows_  
_And I was dancing in the rain_  
_I felt alive and I can’t complain_  
  
_ But now take me home_  
_Take me home where I belong_  
_I can’t take it anymore.”_

** _~ _from_ Runaway _by Aurora **

* * *

** NOBODY KNOWS _  
~ a Cursed Child fic by RoRoWeasley_ **

* * *

Scorpius sprinted thorough the common room like a rocket. Slytherins passed by in a blur but like they would pay him any attention anyway. Rounding the corridor to his dormitory, he flew down and through the door before throwing himself down on to his bed. With a flick of his wand the hangings closed and he curled up into a ball, free at last to sob his heart out. His breaths came out jagged, hot tears streamed down his face and he was very aware that he was being rather loud but he made no move to stop.  
  
For too long he'd bottled it all up. Pretended he was fine, that he was strong and could handle anything.  
  
But it was all a lie.  
  
He was alone. He had no one. Albus Potter, his best friend, couldn't stand to be near him, though it wasn't as if he had much of a choice. He was a Gryffindor now, over in the lion's den, protected by the pack. Scorpius was stuck in the snake pit all alone, at the mercy of their venom.   
  
Harry Potter was keeping them apart. _The _Harry Potter, whom Scorpius had always looked up to as a hero. Right now, the great and famous Harry Potter was responsible for breaking his heart. For hurting his own _son_.   
  
A hero didn't do that.   
  
Scorpius thought about Albus, in his own alienated position the same as Scorpius. Surrounded by his family, maybe, but it wasn't the same. It was obvious Albus liked it as much as he did. He sobbed harder. What had they done to deserve this?   
  
Without Albus, Scorpius' life was hell. The bullies never stopped. He was constantly attacked in the corridors, out in the grounds, or in empty classrooms when they’d find him hiding. But he had no strength to fight back. In fact, the pain was almost welcomed. It overtook the numbness that otherwise was his constant companion.  
  
It was like his mother all over again, except this time Albus wasn't by his side to help. Scorpius was well and truly alone.  
  
He sat up, sniffing and running a hand across his face. He felt better already just by lifting an emotional weight off his chest. But it wasn't enough, he was still empty.   
  
He needed pain.  
  
Leaning across his bed to the drawer, he retrieved a long silver object that he'd stolen from Potions a few days before. He fumbled for his wand which had been discarded at the end of the bed, before leaning back against his pillows and breathing deeply.   
  
He took his wand in his left hand, the silver object, a knife, in his right, and delicately yet firmly, began to carve another small line into the wood. The tears began again as the familiar sting rang through his whole body. The alleged son of Voldemort was plucking at the strings of energy that was his source of magic. There was no blood, no physical sign on his body, only the deep whine where he struck through a thread binding his wand to his soul, carving a gash into the precious wood.  
  
It joined the cluster already there along the magical object. Those small yet numerable wounds on his wand represented what he couldn’t bear do to his own flesh. On his pale skin, they would be visible to everyone. On his wand, they simply looked like runes. But the effect was the same, the sting, the stab of feeling that broke through the numbness. It was calming.  
  
Another three gouges later and the knife was returned to the drawer. Scorpius ran his tingling fingers over his wand, the same one that had been by his side since he was eleven. When his mother died, he’d felt numb, but he’d poured out all of his grief into books. He read and he read and he read. Then when he returned to Hogwarts at the end of the week there was Albus.  
  
Now? He had no one. He was weak, he was pathetic, he was worthless. He was _alone_. No one cared. No one bothered with him because he was the son of the Dark Lord. He was an outcast. Ostracized by the entire wizarding community who chose to believe rumours.  
  
Well, Scorpius didn’t care for them either.  
He just wanted Albus back.


End file.
